Share Your Plan… You Won’t Want to Disappoint!

Most of us absolutely hate the idea of disappointing someone, don’t we? That sinking feeling when we have to admit, “Yeah, I didn’t do the thing when I said I would.” The idea of hanging your head in shame and feeling that awkward, guilty discomfort—argghhh—is enough to send anyone running for the hills. So, how about we spin this into something that makes us feel really good instead? Let’s achieve those goals that we’ve been putting off, the ones where motivation seems hard to come by. And here’s the trick: share your plan!

By sharing your goals with others, you’re giving yourself a powerful tool for success. Not only are you more motivated, but you’re also less likely to back out. Plus, the joy of sharing your accomplishment afterward is priceless. Let’s dive into why this works and, more importantly, why it works so well.

The Power of Social Accountability

There’s actual science behind why sharing your plans gives you a boost. It taps into something called social-accountability, a concept well-researched in psychology. According to a study by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at the Dominican University of California, people who share their goals with a friend are 65% more likely to achieve them. And, get this—those who added regular progress updates with that friend saw their success rate skyrocket to 95%! Source: Matthews Study on Goal Setting. So, the simple act of sharing a goal makes you far more likely to follow through.

When we tell someone about our goals, we create a kind of external motivation. The reason? Our brains are wired for connection and approval from others. Neurotransmitters like dopamine (the “feel-good” hormone) are triggered when we anticipate a reward, and that social acknowledgment acts as one. It’s like a mental high-five when someone says, “Wow, you did that!” And that feeling? It can push you toward achieving even more.

Accountability Helps You Take Action 🏃‍♀️

Sharing your plan makes it real. Instead of a vague, “Yeah, I’ll get to it,” your goal is now out in the open for someone else to see—and let’s be honest, none of us wants to face that dreaded, “So, how’s it going?” question with a response that’s anything less than, “Oh, I’ve totally smashed it!”

By sharing, you’re not just holding yourself accountable, you’re inviting someone else to keep you accountable too. This technique is frequently used in behavioural psychology to help people make positive changes. According to the Theory of Planned Behaviour by Icek Ajzen, when individuals commit to their intentions publicly, they are more likely to take action toward their goals because they don’t want to lose face or appear unreliable. It taps into our desire to be seen as competent and dependable in the eyes of others.

Visualizing Success

Here’s a fun mental exercise: imagine yourself talking to that person you shared your goal with. You’re telling them your plan and when you’ll complete it. Now fast forward to the moment when they ask how it’s going, and you get to say, “Oh, I did that already!” Feels good, right? That moment of success, where you know you’ve achieved something important, is priceless.

I experienced this firsthand when writing my first book, Come Sleep With Me. For years, I had been “writing” the book, but nothing was getting done. When people asked, “How’s the book coming along?” I’d throw out the excuse, “Oh, it’s a process,” knowing full well that no progress was happening.

Finally, I met a professor who offered to read my manuscript. I told him I’d have it done by a specific date. Now, with that deadline looming and someone expecting results, I couldn’t just sit on my hands anymore. I finished the book in two months! The lesson? Sharing your plans doesn’t just give you motivation—it lights a fire under you.

Social Pressure: Not All Bad

Sharing your goals with others taps into a healthy kind of social pressure. Now, before you roll your eyes at the word “pressure,” hear me out! The kind of pressure we’re talking about here is positive—it pushes you to accomplish what you’ve already decided you want to do. According to Bandura’s Social Cognitive Theory, people are influenced by the actions and opinions of others. When we share our goals, we place ourselves within a social context where expectations are clear. If we don’t meet them, we feel a little bit of discomfort, and that discomfort can be enough to nudge us into action.

When people anticipate positive social feedback, like praise or acknowledgment, brain activity increases in areas related to pleasure and reward. This feedback loop motivates us to complete tasks and chase that “I did it!” moment. It’s also why we feel so great when we meet our goals and share that success.

Don’t Let “Process” Become Your Excuse

Remember, the goal is to keep it real. When I was using the excuse, “It’s a process” during my book-writing days, I was really just delaying action. Sound familiar? We’ve all done it. The key is to share your plan so that it goes from “someday” to “soon.” Making that public commitment means you can’t hide behind “it’s a process” any longer. The clock is ticking, and now you’ve got someone watching!

In fact, research shows that setting clear goals with a timeframe dramatically improves the likelihood of completing them. In one study, participants who wrote down specific goals and shared them achieved 76% of their targets, compared to just 43% for those who kept them private and vague [Source: Journal of Clinical Psychology].

Take the Leap—Tell Someone!

So, what are you waiting for? Whether it’s finishing a project, starting a new hobby, or hitting a personal goal, share it with someone. Share it with multiple people, if you like! By putting your goal out into the world, you’re making a commitment, and you’re far more likely to achieve it. Plus, when you finally get to say, “I did it!”—well, the celebration is going to feel incredible.

References:

• Matthews, G. (2007). Goal setting and sharing: Success factors. Dominican University of California. Retrieved from Dominican University News
• Ajzen, I. (1991). The theory of planned behavior. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 50(2), 179-211.
• Bandura, A. (1986). Social foundations of thought and action: A social cognitive theory. Prentice-Hall.
• Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705-717.