I wrote this in 2020 and I thought I would reshare as we could all learn something from the time we spent in our involuntary isolation

So….from 2020 here we go!

I am feeling weirdly free today!

Weird?….well yes when you consider the madness that has taken over our lovely planet and which has people locked in, isolated and terrified.

How can I feel unshackled and free?

Why does it feel that a weight has been lifted?

How can I feel that I have less choice yet more freedom?

It feels as though my current lack of choice has given me the freedom not to have to choose and that is truly liberating!

In this crazy materialistic world, we have manifested, at least in the Western world, more choices than you can shake a stick at. We can choose how we live, where we live and with whom. In a Flat, or house, at the seaside or in the city, alone, in a couple, in a commune, as a family. With a dog, with a hamster, on a farm, on a boat. We can be part of a community or shun it completely; we can abide by rules or choose to flaunt them; we can be nice and kind and considerate and sweet; we can be rebellious and mean-spirited and liars and thieves. Money can be earned, money can be spent, money can be saved, money can be squandered. Houses can be bought, great mortgages can be acquired, debt can mount up and fear can rage. Homes can be rented, landlords can be rubbish, despair can be had, as well as happiness being found.

Choices are everywhere. We can now decide what gender we want to be and how we want to present ourselves to the world. Facebook recently announced that it would be introducing dozens of options for users to identify their gender and so far I have found at least 58 different ways for people to describe themselves.  No longer the confines of women being forced into femininity and blokes being required to have pure masculine attributes. Now we can meld, blend, change and openly express more of who we are.

Humans can more easily choose how to work, where to work and with whom they spend their working hours. For some that’s separately at home in a small office space whilst for others it’s the safety of the team environment. Some folk take up jobs which allow them more family time whilst others follow a dream of employment which would previously have been scoffed at. We are told at every turn that we have choices, possibilities, options.

And I applaud our ability as a species to come up with all these opportunities. I approve of our adaptability, our flexibility of thought and deed and I love our outward facing way of creating different routes. I relish choices BUT, and, as you know, I use that word sparingly, I wonder what the cost is of the accumulation of alternatives.

After all, options make us angst don’t they? Choices mean questions like should I, can I, must I?

Should I choose to buy the car like that girl because it says ‘sophisticated and successful’?

Must I aspire to the new gadget as its ‘cool’ and my workmates will think me fashionable and hip?

Can I wear this dress? I love it but perhaps it’s a little out of date and not quite on trend and might make others mock me?

Must I fly to this place for a vacation so I can tell others about my exploits even though it’s going to increase my carbon footprint on the planet and therefore might be detrimental in the long run or should I stay closer to home and spend my pounds locally? Will people think me a failure because I opt for 1* hostels over 4* hotels?

Can I have a facelift to make myself beautiful and attractive so that I can have a boyfriend and not live alone surrounded by cats. Or, should I get old gracefully embracing the aging process and celebrate that laughter lines really are simply a reflection of a life well lived?

Should I bake better, run faster, be skinnier, do more yoga, get more Zen. Is Delia better than Gordon? Should I choose Nike over Reebok or Prada over Primark?

Decisions, decisions and choices, choices……OMG

And now, for me, because of a teeny tiny little virus I have had my choices massively curtailed. I can no longer fly where I would have flown; it’s not permissible to drive where I might have driven to see friends and family; I cannot hug my God children; I cannot dance cheek to cheek randomly with my friends & neighbours….yes a thing we quite often used to do!

And the BUT…which in this instance is a great word….the BUT is that now I have time. I have time to not fret. I have time to not angst about the next work day. I have time to spend with my beloved dog not on a perfunctory dog walk simply to relieve him of wee and poo but a proper long adventurous-lets-take-a-flask-and-a-picnic type walk which lasts hours!

I have time to knit. I have never knitted in my life! It might be a catastrophe however the wool feels lovely, the gentle clicketty-clack of the needles reminds me of my mum who for years tapped away creating legendary articles from the coats of ewes and the radio is entertaining as I endeavour to cobble together some knit-one-pearl-one magic around the holes which miraculously appear!

There is time to learn my Irish drum. The neighbours are delighted. Cynthia next door takes her hearing aid out and sits in abject bliss whilst my endeavours to master the beautiful Bodhran haunt the street but no one can come and bash on my door and tell me to shut up!!

Gardening….lots of time for this and my teeny spot of green is looking rather fabulous. I have bought some wooden planters and planted seeds and I am growing my own and soon I shall live like the Good Life (a 1970’s comedy about neighbours in Suburbia for those of you too young to remember!) and have a pig and a sheep and some chickens and never have to buy anything again! I can knit my own knickers and wear kaftans made of old sheets.

This might all sound frivolous and mad and as if I have lost my mind a little and to be honest perhaps I have. That’s what this relief has offered me…a little madness to enjoy things that I haven’t enjoyed before or at least for a long time.

I feel free

I have less choices to clog my mind and I am free to think without the hindrance of niceties like lovely social gatherings and holidays. They simply aren’t really options at the moment and so I am not thinking about them. My mind wanders instead. It goes off on tangents and has playful thoughts about creative ideas. I have walls full of post it notes and plans many of which will not come to fruition. I have 7 books dotted around the house into which I ‘pop’ for a few pages then gently waft out again!

My thoughts are less curtailed and therefore it seems that my freedom is greater.

Instead of worrying that plans won’t come to anything and angsting about how I shall have to fit a thousand things into little compartments to make it all fit, I am simply going with the flow and seeing where things lead me. My choices are less and yet my freedom is greater.

So, and even though no one wants to have no choices, and even if we are all keen to have more ability to move more freely, it seems to me that a few less choices for a while is going to help us reconnect with what we have, what we should embrace and what is important.