An attitude of gratitude

Some of us might be feeling a bit lost or overwhelmed or simply a tad down at the moment so what can we do to lift our spirits?

Research suggests that expressing gratitude can really help so I thought I would investigate how offering thanks, giving gratitude and generally being appreciative can really help to shove the blues away and make room for some positivity.

The word gratitude is derived from Latin and means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness (depending on the context). In some ways gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognise that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power. Being truly grateful can help us to be less insular, more positive and often more confident as we start to see things in a more positive light than before.

Gratitude is one of the cornerstones in my coaching sessions. I have witnessed many instances where a person feels more positive emotions, starts to relish good experiences, improves their health, deals with adversity, and builds stronger relationships all as a result of getting more in touch with gratitude.

I have been privy to many people gaining a better understanding of themselves and others by practicing not blanket all-encompassing Thank you’s but by getting really clear about a specific area of their life and finding things to be grateful for.

People obviously feel and express gratitude in multiple ways. They might retrieve positive memories from the past and be thankful for elements of their childhood. They might think more clearly about the present and think of all the things they can be grateful for in the moment. It might be that future gratefulness is what’s needed to encourage and support a happier and more optimistic outlook. Regardless of the inherent or current level of someone’s gratitude, it’s a quality that individuals can successfully cultivate further.

Many studies on this topic support a direct correlation between gratitude and well-being.

Think about relationships. Perhaps if couples took more time to think about what they are grateful for in their significant other then, the perceived shortfalls in that person might become less irksome. When we look for the positive in someone it can easily escalate to being able to find multiple ways to be grateful to and for them. Also, once people become more confident in being grateful they often feel able to share their concerns in a relationship.

At work we all know that when a Manager remembers to say “thank you” to people who work for them the result is that those employees are more motivated to work harder.
In our family life, it’s easy to take people for granted and not show appreciation for the mundane but it’s in the very small things that we can find true kindness and caring even though it might have become a habit or routine. Just because someone always performs a certain task doesn’t mean they don’t need to be thanked upon occasion for their continued kindness.

We CAN cultivate gratitude which means we can reap as well as share its benefits. We live in a world where many people believe that they will only be happen ‘when’. I shall be happy ‘when’ the tiling is finished in the bathroom. I shall feel more confident ‘when’ I have lost 2 stone more. I will feel loved ‘when’ I have a new job.
Gratitude helps us to live in the now instead of waiting for the when. Gratitude helps us focus on what we have instead of what we are lacking and although it might feel contrived or false at first the mental state of gratitude grows stronger with use and practice.

Here’s a few ways to cultivate an attitude of gratitude:

Keep a Good Things Book
Each day write down 3 specific things that you’re grateful for. They can be particular to the day: I am grateful that I found my keys under the dogs bed or more generic: I am SO grateful that my dog came into my life. The list does NOT have to stop at three as you get more comfortable you will start seeing things to be grateful for all around you and trust me the list is endless!

We receive gifts each day…. that’s why it’s called the present!

Thank Someone Mentally
No time to write? It may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual. Whilst this isn’t as effective as writing something down it does help promote your attitude of gratitude. See the little things that happen. Your brother shares a good book recommendation with you or a friend remembers an appointment that you had. Saying thank you increases your empathy and focuses your mind on positivity rather than negativity.

Write a Thank-you Note
It takes so little effort to write a note of thanks but the ripple effect of your actions can be colossal. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you letter expressing your enjoyment and appreciation of that person’s impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.

Count Your Blessings
Look around you! The birds, the flowers, your shoes, the cup of coffee in your hand, the fact that you have choice…gosh the lists of potential gratefuls is absolutely ENDLESS! Learn to really appreciate little things a lot more. Reflect on what went right or what you are grateful for. Think about the sensations you feel when something good happens to you. You can find gratitude everywhere you look, you simply have to LOOK

Meditate
Finding the space and time to be quiet is a way of really getting into gratefulness and enjoying its rewards. Mindfulness meditation involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. Although people often focus on a word or phrase (such as “peace”), it is also possible to focus on what you’re grateful for (the sound of the raindrops, the hum of the heating). You don’t even have to spend a huge amount of time meditating…just a few minutes each day of quiet reflection.

Gratitude can improve your well-being in SO many ways by helping to reduce social comparisons – when you are grateful for what you have you no longer covet others ‘stuff’; by aiding better sleep; by enhancing relationships and by helping to reduce your fear and anxiety.

Gratitude can also help massively if you lack confidence in some area of your life. When you start to really appreciate your own individual gifts then downward comparison gets more difficult and the route to greater confidence seems more possible.

Start today with 3 things you could, if you chose to be, be thankful for RIGHT NOW!